Diana posted on November 12, 2009 00:01
Many mums feel like they spend their lives running around after everyone else and that there is never enough time left, to spend an hour doing absolutely what we want. And with Christmas coming up and even more to do than ever, the pressure really is on. So it is really important to get in the habit to create time just for you and not feel guilty about it.
Now most of the time you may not mind this lack of time for yourself, after all you enjoy helping and looking after those who you love. But just sometimes you may feel that you are not getting the recognition you deserve. And what makes matters even worse is that when you point out this fact to your beloved family, they look at you despairingly and assume you are suffering from PMT.
If you are faced with that sort of response there are a number of choices.
1. Take on the role of victim. Possibly alright in the very short term. Long term this is not a good route to take as it doesn't really help you to feel better about yourself or set a good example to your family. Short term I guess it can be a sort of curious indulgence.
2. Alternatively you can make a stand and flounce out in a huff and eventually crawl back to the mayhem when you have calmed down, althought the likelihood is that you will have to put up with the odd joke about your outburst.
3. The third option is to start being just a little bit selfish and Ring Fence or create time just for you. This time may consist of an evening out, a bath, a shopping trip or just not being disturbed for half an hour. You may need to delegate tasks to others to do to achieve this, but that is OK.
Creating time for yourself has got to be a priority. At the end of the day if you do not feel that you are worthy of some time to yourself - then you are setting a pattern not just for yourself but for others in the family. There are also strong links between exaustion, stress and depression. Too much busyness can be a really bad thing.
So How Do Create Time for yourself - by delegating
Decide how much time you would like to yourself and ask what this will mean to the family. Now if you are talking about a fortnights holiday in the sun - that is going to take quite a bit of organising. But for most of us it may mean a night off from cooking dinner, or putting the kids to bed. If you have young children it maybe a request for your partner to deal with night time interruptions. Most people want to help - and if this help is requested and met with thanks, and no intereference as to how they are going to manage the jobs you have delegated to them - it will work. (Although that maybe a test in itself).
The interesting thing is when you do really make a point investing in some "down time", your energy levels rise and you are likely to have a more positive, creative focus. You will probably find that you actually are able to achieve more on a daily basis. And this will also help you if if you are looking to achieve personal goals like losing weight or doing more exercise. Lets face it stress makes us tired, can affect things like blood pressure and often makes us reach for comfort food.
So make taking Time Out for you a priority you are likely to feel better and achieve much more. And most of all your family will benefit not just by you being more relaxed, but by them understanding how important it is to create time out for themselves in their own lives.
Need help making time for yourself then contact me at diana@helpforbusymums.com for more information on how I can work with you to improve your own work life balance.